Looking forward
Finally after more than year, I was able to follow up on my previous post.
A lot of things happened since that time. Most of them were hazy by now though. Some of the things that I can remember are being able to attend and present to various research conferences, taught a new high school level for the first time, learned a lot about brewing coffee, grabbed some opportunities to improve my finances, got dengue and survive, and apparently learned that having your trust betrayed after so many years ain’t the end of everything, but nevertheless still freaking hurts (so people who dismiss heartbreaks as trivial should just go and experience it again smh).
Life-altering events, whether positive or negative, causes stress. This is my most stressful year so far (and it isn’t over yet). And yet I cannot help but think that being introduced to positive psychology actually helped my resilience, just enough to weather the storms. This year also allowed me better understanding of myself. My personal core-values are a lot clearer now than they are last year. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching the end of my young adulthood.
In the previous months I started doubting the dreams and goals I’ve set for myself. I was back in a state of flux. People I work with and who are close to me told me as much that my life right now lacks direction. With all the talk I usually give about the importance of commitment, it’s ironic that I find myself being unable to commit to a path, fearing that this path ain’t the right one. But I’m taking my first steps again. I recognize my strengths and weaknesses better than before. And I am not completely clueless on what I want. Right now I am battling my demons, my insecurities, and being presented with an opportunity that I am avoiding before. Should I do it?
Well, I’ve done this in other areas of my life before. Leaving my comfort zone again isn’t the end of the world. We’ll see.